I'm Raising An "Alcoholic"...

But I'm not even one. (yet?) 

How does this even happen?  

Until recently, I rarely even had one drink.  I'm talking, maybe a fruity drink at Outback or something.  (remember, I met my husband when I was 14, there wasn't much sluttin' it up in college for me. Bummer---JK---Sorta)

Then I went on a cruise with some coworkers last month---Where my cootie cat ladies at?! 

Here I found that with the right group of ladies, drinking can totally be my jam. I have never had so much fun throwing a few back and dancing for 3 hours until 2am with all the little 18 year old hookers judging me. 

#ccruise2015 #fancypants #boodaddies #whatyougotinthatbag #yourmajesty #ohsylvia #imsoshame  

Note: this giddy face ("alcoholic" daughter has the same one)

Anyways, back to my 4 year old "alcoholic".  I cringed a little bit every time she ordered a "margarita" from our local Mexican place for Taco Mondays.  Like, literally, "I'll have a strawberry margarita..." comes out of her mouth to the waiter. I'll quickly clarify that it means a virgin daiquiri.  Then the little lush upgraded her "margaritas" to the "fancy glass, please." This would be the big fishbowl drinks.  Awesome.  Mom award right here.  Granted, my husband totally takes advantage of the 2 for 1's that place offers so she is well versed in the ordering tactic, but for my daughter to self guide her own order of 2 for 1's...

That same giddy face as me. Trouble. 

Too many drinks always leads to riding the donkey.

The major cringeworthy encounter for her boozing came Bachelorette Monday this past week. Two friends came over to wine and dine while we watch trash TV and my friend asks, "Do you have a pitcher I can mix this in?" I shit you not, my kid responds confident as ever, 

"No, but we have Grey Goose." 

Stop it. 

My friend died laughing. 

I was quickly rewinding all of the conversations she has to listen in on to be able to even know what, where, or why we have Grey Goose. 

In the words of a wise, dear friend...I'm so shame. 

My final thoughts on my guzzler of a kid is just this: more power to you my little boozer in the making! You order those margaritas virgin drinks, smoothies, and iccees like it's nobody's business and demand the fancy glass. With a damn umbrella in it! 

Your mom and dad will be right there drinking our own umbrella decorated beverages. The adult kind.  The Grey Goose kind. As you apparently already know, sister.  

We have already taught you to smell the beverage before you take a big gulp because you never know what is mixed up in that Tervis Tumbler. 

Knowledge is power, folks. Teaching 'em young. 

And I leave you with my souvenir from my booze cruise...

Cause Lord knows the dancing that went down on that vacation.  And I will proudly hand this shirt down to my little lady when the time comes. Dance (and drink) like no one is watching Little Princess! 

#dontjudge

UPDATE: We went to see a movie today and one of the previews was for Diet Coke and she asks, "Is this a beer commercial?" 
Sigh.    

Food For Thought...

I haven't blogged in a little while due to being fresh out of funny moments to share.  I know the funny moments are still happening, but they probably have just become a normal part of our every day, that certain things just don't stick out. Every day is a shit show in my house but, fear not…!

  

Harper Belle is still turning into a 4 year old teenager.  Especially with comments like, "On our movie field trip, we are going to see 50 Shades of Grey…"  Ummm.  Not quite, sweet kid.  You are seeing The Cardboard Rocket, but thanks for always listening butting into my conversations and making it sound like all your mother does is talk about "50 Shades" and other inappropriate things around you. (I mean, not all the time….)

And Penelope has grown into a one year old, sassy, stubborn piece of work who gets into eeeevvveeerrrthhhhiiinnnngggg.  I swear Penelope has my husband's personality.  Esshh. 

Annoying kids at Target per usual...

Anyways, as I sit here wanting to blog, I started thinking... what has been on my mind? 

I find myself lately wondering, what can I be doing to be a better mom?  Am I the only one who sometimes wonders that?  I ponder thoughts like...Should I be getting up earlier in the morning to ensure an easier routine to work and school?  Should I be putting my phone away while my kids are awake? Should I be giving my kids all organic snacks? How much T.V. is too much? 

What makes a good mom, good?

Then I stopped.  I have to remind myself, am I really that shitty?  If my biggest concern is whether or not my morning routine is running smoothly and if my iPhone dying every night is a hint that I may be on it too much, then I must be doing an okay job.  

As more and more of my friends are entering the world of trying/having babies and raising babies, I see them face the quick reality that being a mom is no joke.  It is hard freaking work. I think folks often put up the front that life is easy for them. We all know the truth. 

I am exhausted 6 out of the 7 days of the week at 5:30 pm.  The one night I am not exhausted is usually the one night where my children aren't throwing tantrums or making messes or screaming loudly to be funny and annoying.  When I finally drag my ass into bed, which is after I tell myself I'm going to bed at 8 once the kids are in bed, but end up watching 3 hours of DVR, I thank God for my blessings, ask Him to help me be a better person, then pat myself on the back because I got through another day.  I got through another day where my children went to bed happy and loved. It may have not been a perfect day and I may have lost my cool a few times, but they know that I love them.  

I pat myself for not only being the best mom I can be right now, but for also being the best wife I can be.  Even if that's just 10 minutes of conversation with my husband without kids before he goes to work.  I pat myself for making it through another day teaching sweet kids who have no idea the reality of adulthood ahead of them. They  have mamas and daddies at home doing their best, too.  

My rambling leaves me understanding a little bit more that although there will always be things I can do to improve myself as a mom, I am doing pretty damn good.  And you are doing pretty damn good, too.  Congratulations on making it through another day where you give your babies or husbands or students genuine love. Love that makes them feel good and smile and giggle. Love that makes you grateful for what you have. That other people looking in may want. We sure aren't perfect, but most of us know that.  We are all second guessing ourselves. Perhaps instead of spending so much time wondering what I am doing wrong and what I can do to be better, I should bask in the glory of the things I am doing right.  We are all trying our best. And at the end of the day, if my babies are going to bed with full hearts, so am I. 

Word.