I'm Raising An "Alcoholic"...

But I'm not even one. (yet?) 

How does this even happen?  

Until recently, I rarely even had one drink.  I'm talking, maybe a fruity drink at Outback or something.  (remember, I met my husband when I was 14, there wasn't much sluttin' it up in college for me. Bummer---JK---Sorta)

Then I went on a cruise with some coworkers last month---Where my cootie cat ladies at?! 

Here I found that with the right group of ladies, drinking can totally be my jam. I have never had so much fun throwing a few back and dancing for 3 hours until 2am with all the little 18 year old hookers judging me. 

#ccruise2015 #fancypants #boodaddies #whatyougotinthatbag #yourmajesty #ohsylvia #imsoshame  

Note: this giddy face ("alcoholic" daughter has the same one)

Anyways, back to my 4 year old "alcoholic".  I cringed a little bit every time she ordered a "margarita" from our local Mexican place for Taco Mondays.  Like, literally, "I'll have a strawberry margarita..." comes out of her mouth to the waiter. I'll quickly clarify that it means a virgin daiquiri.  Then the little lush upgraded her "margaritas" to the "fancy glass, please." This would be the big fishbowl drinks.  Awesome.  Mom award right here.  Granted, my husband totally takes advantage of the 2 for 1's that place offers so she is well versed in the ordering tactic, but for my daughter to self guide her own order of 2 for 1's...

That same giddy face as me. Trouble. 

Too many drinks always leads to riding the donkey.

The major cringeworthy encounter for her boozing came Bachelorette Monday this past week. Two friends came over to wine and dine while we watch trash TV and my friend asks, "Do you have a pitcher I can mix this in?" I shit you not, my kid responds confident as ever, 

"No, but we have Grey Goose." 

Stop it. 

My friend died laughing. 

I was quickly rewinding all of the conversations she has to listen in on to be able to even know what, where, or why we have Grey Goose. 

In the words of a wise, dear friend...I'm so shame. 

My final thoughts on my guzzler of a kid is just this: more power to you my little boozer in the making! You order those margaritas virgin drinks, smoothies, and iccees like it's nobody's business and demand the fancy glass. With a damn umbrella in it! 

Your mom and dad will be right there drinking our own umbrella decorated beverages. The adult kind.  The Grey Goose kind. As you apparently already know, sister.  

We have already taught you to smell the beverage before you take a big gulp because you never know what is mixed up in that Tervis Tumbler. 

Knowledge is power, folks. Teaching 'em young. 

And I leave you with my souvenir from my booze cruise...

Cause Lord knows the dancing that went down on that vacation.  And I will proudly hand this shirt down to my little lady when the time comes. Dance (and drink) like no one is watching Little Princess! 

#dontjudge

UPDATE: We went to see a movie today and one of the previews was for Diet Coke and she asks, "Is this a beer commercial?" 
Sigh.